title: [blank]
date: Wednesday, December 17, 2008
my heart. and hands are dying to blog right now. kanina pang umaga. habang andun ako. pretending to
highlight things in my book, while i try to listen.. to their laughter who i was once a part of... their constant
silly question, which usually made me laugh... i was sarcastic the whole day.. trying to laugh and smile as much as i can... trying hard to portray in my actions that
"hey, i'm not affected..no need to bother. CONTINUE ON.."
the first thing i wanted was my blog. i wanted to release pain. kanina. at school. i used the back of my english notebook... writing things that made my hands shake so badly... i had to stop..
then i wanted my best friends. bea.aira.either one.i imagined myself, lunging into them... CRYING. i longed for their hug... longed for their voices. advices and such...
and then. there was a part of me. that wanted to be offensive. attack verbally [ the number and their sizes were too big for it to be physical] and target the
opposers' weaknesses. but i restrained.
oh look. i'm crying. ):
my throat's been aching the whole day... at ngayon lang ako nakakuha ng time para umiyak. walang tao sa bahay e.
i have been INVISIBLE for the past 2 days...and no one minds. but me.
......................
sorry. di ko na kayang mgtype. i'll try to continue next time. the tears are blocking my eyes. can't see.
my hands are shaking again. i can't type properly.